CoachPro Tools
You can bring any current situation that matters to you and that you want to move forward on: a pending decision, a conflict with someone, a goal that won't get started, a habit you want to change or something that keeps happening. You don't need it solved or well explained; you just need to know what you would like to leave the session with.
This article is written for you, the client or prospective client. If you are a coach looking for how to structure the session from your side, the guide you want is the first coaching session, written for coaches.
Why are you the one who chooses the topic?
Because that is how coaching works. The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to make the most of their personal and professional potential. Its core competencies state that coaches and clients develop agreements that set the framework for each session.
In practice, your coach is not going to tell you what to talk about. They will ask what you want to work on today and what result you would like by the end. The clearer you are on those two questions when you arrive, the more you get out of the session.
What topics can you bring to a coaching session?
Almost anything that depends, at least partly, on you. This table covers the most common areas, with examples of real situations and a question to prepare each one:
| Area | Situations you can bring | Question to prepare it |
|---|---|---|
| Work and career | Asking for a promotion, changing jobs, a difficult boss, feeling stuck. | What do I want to be different six months from now? |
| Decisions | Moving, starting a business, leaving a project, choosing between two offers. | What is stopping me from deciding today? |
| Relationships and communication | A conversation you have been avoiding for months, setting boundaries, saying no. | What do I want to happen after that conversation? |
| Goals and projects | A goal that won't start, a stalled project, too many things at once. | What is the first step I am not taking? |
| Habits and time | Procrastinating, no time for yourself, poor sleep, no exercise. | At what point in the day does this slip away? |
| Emotions and stress | Anxiety about a specific situation, recurring anger, tiredness. | When does it show up, and what triggers it? |
| Confidence and beliefs | Feeling you are not enough, fear of failing, comparing yourself with others. | What do I tell myself when this happens? |
| Purpose and values | Not knowing what you want, feeling your life doesn't fit you. | When do I feel most like myself? |
A topic doesn't have to be big to deserve a session. "I want to stop answering emails at eleven at night" is a perfect topic, because it is specific and within your control.
How do you choose a topic when you have several, or none?
If you have several
Ask three questions about each: which one drains the most energy right now? Which one, if solved, would also help the others? Which one depends most on me? The one that scores highest is usually the right one. You can also bring the list and say: "I have these three topics and I don't know where to start." Choosing is already part of the work.
If you have none
It happens. Sometimes the week was calm, or you can't put a name to what is going on. A few ways to find it:
- Think of the moment this week when you felt worst. What was happening?
- Look back at what you agreed in the last session. Did you do it? What happened?
- Ask yourself what you would like to be different a month from now.
- Take a snapshot of how you are doing in each area of your life and see where things are out of balance.
And if nothing comes up even then, say so at the start. "I don't know what to bring today" is a good starting point for an experienced coach.
How do you prepare for a coaching session in 10 minutes?
You don't need a big ritual. Ten minutes beforehand, on paper or on your phone, answer these questions:
- What has happened since the last session? What you did, what you didn't and what you learned.
- What do I want to talk about today? One sentence. If it doesn't fit in one, pick the most pressing part.
- Why now? What makes this topic matter this week.
- What would I like to leave with? A decision, a plan, clarity, a way to approach a conversation.
- From 1 to 10, how am I doing? A number helps your coach get their bearings in the first few minutes.
If your coach sends you a form before each session, use it for this. Some platforms, such as CoachPro Tools, let the coach schedule it to arrive a few hours before each appointment, so the session starts where you are.
What else is worth bringing besides the topic?
- Your actions from last session. Done or not. What you didn't do is often as interesting as what you did.
- Concrete examples. "My boss ignores me" is easier to work with as "on Monday I presented my proposal and he moved to the next item without commenting".
- What feels uncomfortable to say. If something embarrasses or scares you to name, that's usually the part that matters. Coaching is a confidential space.
- A quiet place. If the session is online, find somewhere without interruptions and with a good connection.
- Something to write with. What gets written down at the end of the session is what you remember during the week.
How do you raise your topic at the start of the session?
The way you put it in the first few minutes shapes the rest of the hour. You don't need a speech: just say what you want to talk about, why now and what you would like to leave with. Compare these two versions:
- Vague: "I wanted to talk about work." Useful: "Tomorrow I have my annual meeting with my manager and I want to come out of it with a date to discuss my promotion."
- Vague: "I'm really stressed." Useful: "I've been sleeping badly for three weeks, since I was moved to a new team, and I want to understand which part of that depends on me."
- Vague: "I don't know what to do with my life." Useful: "I've been offered a move to another city and I can't decide. I want to leave today knowing what is holding me back."
If only the vague version comes out, that's fine: helping you sharpen it is part of your coach's job. But the closer you get to the useful version, the sooner the real session starts.
What topics are not for a coaching session?
Coaching works with people who are in a position to move towards a goal. Some topics need a different professional:
- Mental health problems that stop you functioning day to day, such as depression, frequent panic attacks or trauma. That calls for a psychologist or psychiatrist. To understand the boundary, see our comparison of coaching, therapy and mentoring.
- Technical advice, such as legal, tax or medical questions. A coach can help you decide what to do with that advice, but cannot give it.
- Topics that aren't yours. "I want my partner to change" can't be worked on in coaching. "I want to know what I do when my partner does this" can.
If you bring a topic that doesn't fit, a good coach will tell you and, if needed, point you towards someone who can help.
What if the topic changes during the session?
It happens often, and it is usually a good sign. You start talking about work and end up in a conversation about your father. Your coach will ask whether you want to stay there or go back to the original topic. The choice is yours. What matters is that by the end you know what you are taking away and what you will do before the next session.
If you worry about running out of time, it helps to know how long a coaching session usually lasts and to agree it with your coach from the start. And if you are still deciding whether coaching is for you, begin with what coaching is and its main types.
Frequently asked questions
Do I need to bring a prepared topic to every coaching session?
It helps a lot, but it is not required. If you have no topic, say so at the start: your coach will help you find one with questions about your week, your previous agreements and your goals.
Can I bring a personal topic if my coaching is about work?
You can raise it. Personal and professional matters are often connected. Your coach will tell you whether it fits what you agreed at the start or whether it is better handled another way.
What if I bring several topics to the same session?
The usual approach is to choose one and work on it in depth. You can share the list at the start and decide with your coach where to begin, or which one, once resolved, helps with the rest.
Can I talk about my emotions in a coaching session?
Yes. Emotions are part of almost every topic. What coaching does not replace is care from a mental health professional when there is a clinical problem.
How long does it take to prepare for a coaching session?
Ten minutes is enough: review what happened since the last session, write in one sentence what you want to talk about and what you would like to leave with.