Ontological Coaching Questions: 40+ Examples by Domain

Ontological coaching questions leave the client's problem aside for a moment and look at the observer they are: what they treat as fact, which mood is holding them and what their body is doing as they speak. They are organised across three domains, language, emotion and body, and within language, across the speech acts described by Rafael Echeverría: assertions, declarations, assessments, requests, offers and promises.

Below you'll find more than forty questions grouped by domain and speech act, a table to use in session and a full worked conversation. These are questions for coaches; if you want a general list of powerful questions without the ontological lens, see 50 powerful coaching questions ready to use.

What makes a coaching question "ontological"?

Ontological coaching grows out of the work of Rafael Echeverría, a Chilean sociologist and philosopher who coined the term in his book Ontología del lenguaje (1994) and who in 1990 co-founded The Newfield Group with Julio Olalla, where he designed his ontological coaching training (source). The core idea is easy to say and hard to practise: a person's results depend on their actions, and their actions depend on the kind of observer they are.

A classic powerful question usually points at action: "what will you do?". An ontological question points one step earlier: "where are you looking from, that this is your only option?". It doesn't replace the first kind; it sets it up. When the client shifts as an observer, actions they couldn't see before show up on their own.

Three traits mark a good ontological question:

• It separates facts from interpretations. Much of a client's suffering sits in assessments they live as truths.
• It treats language as action. Speaking doesn't just describe the world; it changes it. Requesting, promising or saying "no" are acts.
• It brings in emotion and body. A client can understand something intellectually and still be stuck in the mood that sustains it.

Which questions work each speech act?

This table sums up the speech acts, how to spot them in what the client says and an opening question for each. Below, each one is developed with more questions.

Assertions and assessments: separating fact from opinion

An assertion can be checked; an assessment is neither true nor false, only more or less grounded. The work is helping the client notice when they are treating an assessment as a fact.

• Is what you just said a fact anyone could check, or your opinion?
• What actions did you observe to reach that assessment?
• In which area does that assessment hold? All of them, or one in particular?
• Who did you learn to judge yourself this way from?
• What does holding on to that assessment allow you, and what does it stop you from doing?
• What would have to happen for you to revise it?
• What other assessment, just as grounded, could you make about the same thing?

Declarations: what the client has yet to say

Declarations create a new reality: a "no", an "enough", an "I accept", an "I was wrong". Many blocks are declarations the client doesn't dare to make.

• What do you need to say no to so you can say yes to this?
• Which "enough" have you been putting off saying?
• What would you have to accept to stop fighting this situation?
• Is there an "I don't know" that's hard for you to declare?
• What would change if you said out loud what you've already decided inside?
• Which apology is still pending, either to make or to accept?

Requests, offers and promises: coordinating action with others

A lot of workplace and relationship conflict lives here. A badly made request produces a misunderstood promise, and both end up as an assessment about the other person.

• Which request haven't you made because you assume the answer is no?
• When you asked, did you say by when, and how you'd know it was done well?
• What are you waiting for the other person to guess?
• What do you offer that nobody knows you offer?
• Which promise did you make to avoid an uncomfortable conversation?
• If that promise can no longer be kept, how will you renegotiate it?

Which questions open the domain of emotion?

The ontological approach distinguishes between an emotion, which arises in response to a specific event, and a mood, the background from which a person sees everything. A client can move out of an emotion in minutes and live inside a mood for years. The questions aim to name it and see which possibilities it closes off.

• What emotion shows up when you talk about this?
• Is it something you feel about this situation, or is it with you most of the time?
• From that emotion, which actions look possible and which don't?
• What assessment about the future sits underneath that emotion?
• What emotion would you need to take the next step?
• When were you last in that other emotion? What were you doing?
• If that emotion had a message for you, what would it be?
• Who around you lives in that same mood?

Two moods come up a lot in session. Resignation ("this won't change, there's no point trying") shuts down action before it starts. Resentment ("they did this to me and it isn't fair") ties the client to the past. For both, the useful question doesn't argue with the assessment; it opens it: "what would need to be possible for it to be worth trying?".

How do you ask questions of the body?

The body is the domain most coaches skip. Yet a posture held for long enough makes a different mood very hard to reach. You don't need somatic training to start; noticing and asking is enough:

• As you tell me this, what do you notice in your body?
• Where do you feel it?
• I noticed you look down when you talk about your manager. What's happening there?
• How would your body be if you had already made this decision?
• Try saying the same sentence standing up with your back straight. Does anything change?
• What posture do you have when you feel capable?
• How is your breathing right now?
• If your body could choose the next step, which would it choose?

What do these questions look like in a real session?

A short example. Laura, who manages a team of six, arrives saying: "I can't ask for a raise. I'm not that kind of person."

In five questions Laura moves from an identity ("I'm not that kind of person") to an ungrounded assessment, then to an emotion located in her body and finally to a concrete request. The coach never told her to ask for the raise. Once Laura saw her situation differently, the request came from her. The next step is turning that request into an action plan with a date.

What mistakes do coaches make with ontological questions?

• Talking in jargon. "Let's review your speech acts" helps nobody. The client doesn't need the terms; they need the questions.
• Turning the session into an interrogation. A well-placed ontological question asks for silence afterwards. Chain five together and the client answers fast and stops observing.
• Judging the client's assessments. You're not there to prove them wrong. You want them to see their assessment as one interpretation among several.
• Staying in emotion without limits. If distress shows up that goes beyond the coaching frame, refer on. The line is explained in coaching vs therapy vs mentoring.
• Closing with no action. A new observer that doesn't become a request, a declaration or a promise fades before the next session.

Ontological coaching is a methodology rather than a session model, so you can use these questions inside GROW or any other structure. To see how methodologies, models and tools fit together, read the guide to coaching models and methodologies. And the ICF lists among its competencies asking open-ended questions that lead clients to think and reflect deeply: ontological questions are a precise way to do it.

Frequently asked questions

Related resources: 50 powerful questions · Glossary: powerful questions · Coaching models and methodologies